What I Am Thankful For

Well it is Thanksgiving Eve and if I may I will wax poetic about the good things in my life...
I am thankful for family both by blood and not,
I am thankful for my parents they have helped me out a lot.
I am thankful for my girlfriend Ang,
I am thankful she can put up with me being strange.
I am thankful for where I live,
And I am free because of the sacrifice that some had to give.
I am thankful that next year is another NFL season,
Because the Bengals should be tried for treason.
I am thankful for pizza, cold beer and shoo fly pie,
I hope they have them in heaven when I die.
I am thankful for a good paying job,
It keeps me from being an unemployed slob.
I am thankful for for time to relax with friends,
Hey Cory when are we going to play Smart A@# again?
I am thankful for God's love, mercy and grace,
But I would be grateful for some winning lottery numbers in an easy to find place.
I am thankful for my Jeep and my house,
I am more thankful that it has been a long time since I have been visited by a mouse.
I am thankful for spring, summer, winter and fall,
I am thankful that I live where I can experience them all.
I am thankful for football and hockey to watch on TV,
Throw in some burgers and that would be fine with me.
I am thankful for freedom of speech,
Because without it I wouldn't be able to sit here and spout off nonsense on this blog.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!!!

Why Am I So Popular In The Pacific Rim?

Recently I have noticed a lot of posts on my blog. This is great my blog is being read and enjoyed, and that is pretty cool. The thing that is confusing is the demographic of the posters. They are mostly Asian. Why am I so popular with them? This has been bugging me for a while. I have thought about it and can't come up with any reason. I don't eat their cuisine. I really like Godzilla movies. I have never traveled to that region. The answer eludes me. If anyone has an answer I am ready to hear it, cause I've got nothing. Maybe when translated my blog entries sound like Confucius. Well maybe not, but it is the best answer I have so far.

My Summer Beat Up Your Summer

Yeah it may be presumptuous but if you read on you will discover that not only did my summer beat up your summer, but it also gave it several nougies, a swirly and one wicked atomic wedgie! To prove it my summer included (not in any particular order)...

• Lunch with my Aunt Pat, my Uncle Burt, my Mom, my Dad and my girlfriend at Tokyo Diner (the first time I went to a hibachi).
• Glow golf on a miniature golf course.
• Packing ducks for Schreiber.
• Painting my girlfriend's house
• The Schreiber duck race that was rained out but got my picture in the paper.
• Riding the OGO ball.
• Riding the IGO ball.
• Going to my first Phillies game a Citizen's Bank Ballpark. And seeing a huge neon sign for my new employer.
• Speaking of employers I had 4 of them this summer.
• The Combine Demolition Derby at The Buck.
• The LCBC picnic for Liberty Place.
• Going to Longwood Gardens.
• A day trip to Washington DC. This included an art museum and the Holocaust Museum

So what can I say...game, set, match...and your summer is down for the count...he shoots he scores...and at the line its my summer by 13 car lengths. Ah yes the only problem is now I have to find a way to top this summer next year. Crud, I think I may have set the bar a little high.

Signs Seen Around Town 2

OK two more signs. These are both from 743 between 283 and Hershey.

The first one is a "For Sale" sign. It is a hot property indeed. The sign reads "4 Sale 4 BR Fireplace". Wow imagine, smores every night from the comfort of your bedroom.

The second one is celebrating a business with a long tradition. It reads "Celebrating 0 years. Oh yeah big celebration. We haven't made a profit and we are going into debt with balloons that say happy 0 years. Now driving by I can see the 1 laying on its side. But the other way is better. And if I ever have a business that just may be a clever marketing ploy.

This Is What Our Economy Needs

So yesterday I was mowing my parents lawn. I see this guy going to the front door. I stop the mower and ask if I can help him. The following is what I remember to be our conversation.

Him - Hi I am here to get your help so they can kick me out of the country.
Me - ???
Him - Just kidding, but I am trying to go on a trip.
Me - ???
Him - Would you like to know where I am going?
Me - Sure.
Him - Mexico.
Me - OK
Him - Now to go I need points.
Me - ???
Him - Ask me how I get points.
Me - How do you get points?
Him - (excited) I'm glad you asked. All you have to do is look through this list and pick out a few you want and the points are listed to the right.
Me - I'm not interested. (I try to hand him his flyers)
Him - Interest is what banks give you I need points.
Me - (more agitated) I can't afford it.
Him - I don't need money I need points.
Me - (even more agitated) Listen I have stuff to do I am not going to buy anything good bye.
Him - (looking sad) OK. (finally walks away)

Now I wish I had thought of it earlier but I should have taken him to the perfect place to get "points". If it still was available I would have taken him to the unemployment office. A place where people are surviving week to week. Worried about where they are going to get the money to eat and pay their mortgage or rent. I'm sure they would be happy to shell out what little money the have to send this moron on a pleasure trip to sunny Mexico. I don't know how banged and bruised he would have been afterward. Join me in boycotting whatever organization this is.

Signs Seen Around Town

Recently as I was coming back home from a day at Longwood Gardens I passed a sign I had seen before. Though I had seen it before each time I pass it, it makes me laugh. The sign is for Christ's Home for Children. I am sure that they are a good organization but their sign makes me laugh. It says "Christ's Home Office". That always makes me wonder if Jesus is sitting right off of Rt 30 in Paradise, PA.

The other one I saw recently is on the outside of The Village in Lancaster. The sign is advertising that they will be closed for the upcoming holiday and upcoming bands. But if you glance quick it looks like it says, Closed July 10 No Apology. OK you're closed but I don't need your attitude. But in reality it says:

July 3
Closed
July 10
No Apology

Still it made me look twice and get a laugh out of it. So for that I say thank you.

Woody's Movie Review 41

Here we go again, more movies for your perusal.

First is the long anticipated movie "Blind Side" starring Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. I may be the last person to see this movie but that's OK. It was pretty good. However I was hoping for more football and less drama. Bullock plays a New Orleans woman who invites an underprivileged young man into her home and her life. 4 penguins.

Next is "From Paris with Love" starring John Travolta. Travolta plays a spy who is in Paris to stop a terrorist plot. He does have the help of a budding spy. The bullets start fly almost immediately. The body count goes up. But to me the story is lacking. 3 Penguins.

"The Road" is a post-apocalyptic sci-fi movie. Viggo Mortensen plays a father trying to get his son to safety after some event has killed off many of the population. The ones that survived are no cannibals. The story was weak and the acting was too. Some of the scenes were a bit much to take too. 2 penguins.

Lastly we have "Pirate Radio" starring Philip Seymour Hoffman. It is the true (?) story of a bunch of ships off the coast of England broadcasting radio signals. The music they were playing was not allowed on regular radio, hence the name. It is interesting but somewhat crude. 3 penguins.

My New Book

I have decided to write a book. It will be titled Kevin Wood's Guide to Emotions: Good, Bad and 98 others.

It has recently come to my attention that (hold on to your hats men) there are more than just 2 emotions. I know! I was shocked too. And apparently hungry may not be one. Any way the subject of my book will be to inform people (mostly men) about these other 98 emotional words. I will also delve into the myth that OK, Fine and Great are all synonyms. Now I also have come up with a brand new communication system that uses numbers. What man can't use numbers. You come home, you've had a hard day and your wife says "How are you?" And instead of just saying "Good, I'll have a cold drink." now you can say "Good, 83, I'll have a cold beer.". See the difference, fantastic. If I can help just one man, it will be worth it. I will with each book include an easy to read wall poster and handy laminated pocket reference for easy emotional communication. After reading my book you will not only be better equipped to communicate with anyone but you will also be $39.99 poorer. Laminations aren't cheap my friend. So all in all everybody wins. So run out soon to your local bookstore. You know the one it's next to the beer distributor and across the street from that place that sells fried dough on a stick. Man I'm hungry now. Well happy emotions, and if my system doesn't work for you you can take comfort in the fact that I still get to keep the $39.99.

Duck Assembly Line

Ducks Ducks Everywhere And I Forgot The A La Range

Woody's Movie Review 40

So Woody's movie review turns 40 this installment. Wow 40 reviews; time sure flies. OK enough about the past how about the present...wait you got me a present?! Oh the other kind, whatever here are some more movie reviews. Oh and I am adding a new feature. Click on the movie title to link to that movies IMDB page.

First up is "Catch 22". This movie is a dark comedy starring Alan Arkin and Martin Balsam. It is about a bombardier who doesn't want to go on any more missions. He tries everything to get out of going including showing up to receive a medal in the nude. Just a reminder they pin those medals on, Ouch. 3 penguins.

Next is "The Informant" starring Matt Damon. Damon stars as an employee blowing the whistle on his company to the FBI. While this is going on he retreats into his own little fantasy world. Very interesting. 4 penguins.

Then there is "The Men Who Stare at Goats". This movie starring among others George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Ewan McGregor and Kevin Spacey is a little scary. Scary that the government even considered anything like this. I know it is fiction but still. It was OK but not great. 3 penguins.

Lastly there is "Planet 51" featuring the voice of Dwayne Johnson. Johnson's character is an astronaut who gets stranded on an alien planet that is supposed to be uninhabited. Unfortunately for him it's not, fortunately he gets help from an alien (voiced by Justin Long). It has some laugh out loud moments and is good for the whole family. 4 penguins.

Wow, Church Sure Can Be Challenging: In A Good Way

Recently we were challenged at the church I go to (LCBC Manheim), to try certain tasks to know a little of how it feels to live the way most of the world does. It has been hard at times but very rewarding and eye opening.

The first task was to go 12 hours without water. That means no drinking, no showers, no laundry, no water. Now I did it before they suggested no water period. So my day was no drinking. Though it wasn't as hard it still is ingrained in my memory.

The next task was to walk at least a mile, fill up a 5 gallon bucket of water, and walk a mile home. That's just about 42 pounds. Now it doesn't seem bad until you have to carry it just on one side. Also it is sloshing all over the place. It took round trip about an hour and a half. Now for perspective to get the water for an average American, I would have to make 25 trips! You do the math and there aren't enough hours in the day to make it work.

The last challenge was to eat nothing but rice and beans for 5 days. Here is my rice and beans journal.
Day 1: Breakfast-skipped; lunch-rice; dinner-rice and black beans.
Day 2: Breakfast-baked beans; lunch-rice and baked beans; dinner-rice and baked beans.
Day 3: Breakfast-skipped; lunch-rice and baked beans; dinner-plain rice cakes.
Day 4: Breakfast-skipped; lunch-rice and baked beans; dinner-rice and baked beans.
Day 5: Breakfast-rice cake w/a touch of honey; lunch-rice and baked beans; dinner-2 soft pretzels and a brownie.
As you can tell I finished 1 meal short. Also I may have bent the rules a little with the baked beans and honey, but believe me I got the idea.

Well I can say I have a better understanding of what goes on in the world outside the US. But now what? I can't fix it all, can I? The great thing about God is he doesn't expect us to fix it all, just to give all we have. Whew, that is a load off my mind.

I Didn't See The Moon, But I Heard Some Howling

This story starts on Wednesday. Me and my girlfriend were hanging out and relaxing and I said there was a Penguins playoff game on Thursday night. I then asked what she wanted to do on Friday. She said she wanted to go out but didn't know where. I said I would come up with something. Well I had 4 options in mind, but after thinking about it 2 were eliminated. So I gave her the choice option 1 or option 2. She said she didn't care, so I picked. I called and asked if she could be ready at 5:30 and she said yes. I picked her up and off we went. I didn't tell her where we were going or what we were going to do. We stopped at Cracker Barrel for dinner and then off to Baltimore. We got there and after being lost for a little while we got to Howl at the Moon (www.howlatthemoon.com). Howl at the Moon is a dueling piano bar. It was fantastic. It was music, comedy, drama, and so much more. There were also these dry erase boards that for an amount of money you could have them write what ever you want on them. Cases in point there were 2 messages that stood out above the rest.

1. Melissa needs a boyfriend, 443-6832-5018, She is Hot!
2. Rita is gorgeous and needs a hunk of burning love, 410-218-0822

Wow, it was apparent that neither of these women were in the bar and that their friends may not be their friends tomorrow. The highlight of the evening for me though was the "NFL fight song medley", they were going to play the Eagles fight song but someone outbid them to play the Steelers fight song. Then it took off, it was Eagles by 2, Steelers by 1, Redskins by 3, Colts by 4, Eagles by 3, Steelers by 2, Packers by 5... This went on for about 10 min. I wish I had kept track of the money being spent cause it was ridiculous.

So if you are in the Baltimore area check it out. I know we will be going back sometime hopefully with a big group. I leave you now with the alternate lyrics to Do-Re-Mi.

• Do, the stuff to buy some beer
• Re, the guy who chugged my beer
• Mi, the guy who needs some beer
• Far, a long way to the john
• Sew, I think I'll have a beer
• La, Lots and lots of beer
• Tea, No thanks I'll have some beer
• And that brings us back to do, do, do, do
  

Reading Is A Nice Place To Celebrate A Fire

Last Saturday I went to Reading to celebrate a Birthday. My girlfriend's friend Val was turning an undisclosed number of years old. We headed up and met her at her house. I decided to use the bathroom and when I came out I was told we were leaving immediately. OK, off we went. When I got outside Val was already down the road. When I asked what was going on I was told Val's Mom's house was on fire. Well we rushed over and found the house standing and a little black smoke coming from the chimney. I felt the doors and they were cold so I wasn't sure what was wrong. Well the fire department (I think the WHOLE fire department) showed up and checked things out. It turns out it was a oil burning heater that was running a little rich. Whew! Although one fire fighter, who looked about 12 and sprinted 3 blocks to get there, looked disappointed. As the fire fighters were leaving one of them seemed aggravated that his card game was interrupted. Maybe he had just yelled "Uno" or something. So we headed back to Val's met up with Ron and Meghan. We then headed to GNA for dinner. There we met up with John and Emily. The restaurant had some dishes that were "museum" quality, but we went with some fresher options. There was much pasta and a few chocolate martinis. Also we discussed the fan base, dance moves and you tube videos of Lady Gaga. Very entertaining?! We then headed off to somewhere that I forget the name of. It was a nice place though at one point the bathroom was a little crowded for my taste. We were ready to leave when a table opened up and we able to sit and relax with some conversation and tasty beverages.

Highlights include but are not limited to:

• John doesn't get quick service when he goes to the bar.
• Meghan wishes the world was like a musical and people burst into choreographed song and dance routines at the spur of the moment.
• I learned that Brian Boucher (goalie for the Flyers) has a brother Bobby who played on the Mud Dogs Bourbon Bowl winning team.
• Emily had to explain to John what "rivalry" means.
• There was a phantom smell that we all detected but didn't say anything about.
• "Sound of Music" is either the best movie, the worst movie or a movie Val hasn't seen.
• Ang plans to have Val watch it while they crack open a little wine.
• A little (read, A LOT) of wine is what I would need to watch it.

Well we finished up and headed home. Thanks to all. And remember to change the batteries in you smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.

How To Sell A Harley

There is a Harley dealer off of 501 heading toward Lititz that has an interesting advertising campaign. FREE STUFF. Every so often their sign changes to let you know what free goodies you will get if you purchase a Harley.

In February it was a free dozen roses. I can just picture the guy coming home flowers in hand. He says to his wife "I got these for you.". She giggles with delight and asks "What's the occasion?". He gets close lowers his voice and says "Three years of motorcycle payments baby.". Of course he then spend the next 2 days picking out thorns from his head, face and neck.

Later it was a free shovel. Quite appropriate considering we had just gotten 6 feet of snow. Though you probably would have needed the shovel to get out of the house to go buy a Harley, but still nice idea.

Then there is their current sign. Free Speedo. OK if that is what fires you up to get out on the road on a brand new Harley, then great. Just one request from the rest of us. DON'T WEAR IT WHEN YOU ARE OUT RIDING! The sight of some guy in a Speedo on his Harley...well let's just say it wouldn't be pleasant.

I Am Not Eating There

So I was driving around the other day up near Ephrata, PA. I saw a restaurant. There was a sign out front that was very appropriate for any restaurant. It said "New lunch menu". Now why did they change the lunch menu? I don't know. Maybe they hired a new chef. Maybe new owners took over. Maybe Gordon Ramsey was there with "Kitchen Nightmares", well probably not that one. But I think a clue was provided in the next line on their sign. It said "We have worms". Now I don't know if they are serving worms or if the cooking staff has some deadly parasite. Either way I think I'll pass. One thing this has taught me. Always carry your digital camera, you never know what you may come across.

What Does That Even Mean?

As you drive up 501 in Lancaster heading toward Lititz you will pass JJ's Java house. Outside of JJ's is this sign. Now I'm wondering what it means. And if it means what I think it does, then do they have theme drinks. Like French roast, french fries and french toast. Or is it more random like decaff, a jelly doughnut and a carrot. Whatever it is I think I'll pass. I like my food and drink separate. Although a cup of joe with a shot of shoo-fly pie could be interesting.

Did We Really Need To Spend Money On This

I was walking downtown and noticed this plaque in the ground. Of all the things Lancaster City could be spending my ever increasing tax dollars on this is last on my list. There is no need for this. It is like those government forms you get with a blank page. And across the page is written "This page intentionally left blank. Well thanks for the info, why not save some trees and leave those "blank" pages out altogether? Somehow I think if I see a random piece of sidewalk or macadam without any signs I will know it isn't dedicated.

Kids Today Have Lost Their Daredevil Spirit

Recently I was over by Toys R Us and saw a speed limit sign that had me puzzled. I know spray painting extra numbers or changing numbers is great fun for teenagers. However I think I would have added a "1" in front or maybe changed the "2" to an "8". But seriously 26! I go faster than that without even trying. Maybe it was some Amish kids, and they were reaching new speed records on their scooters or roller skates.

Woody's Movie Review 39

Here we are again, so let's get started.

First we have "Edge of Darkness" starring one of my favorite actors Mel Gibson. Gibson plays a father who welcomes home his daughter only to see her shot right in front of him. Since Gibson is a cop he goes on a journey of investigation/revenge/retribution/justice. This was a great movie, the only comment I have is I didn't know Mel was that short. 5 penguins.

Next is "Final Destination 4". I think the final destination for this one should be on the shelf. It was OK but not fantastic, plus I have seen the formula 3 times already. The first one (as is the case with most sequel driven movies) is still the best. There was one good line though. After the one character dies the one girl asks her boyfriend "Remember the redneck from the racetrack?". Seriously you will have to be way more specific. That's like asking "Remember that moron wearing the Steelers jersey?". 2 penguins.

Next is "Gamer". I just watched this one this morning. It stars Gerard Butler and Michael C. Hall. Butler is a death row inmate forced to play a game where he is controlled by some 17 year old kid. Hall is the genius behind the game. As with most movies like this Butler is innocent and Hall had him put behind bars. Butler tries to escape the game and exact revenge. It is language and skin heavy without a great story. 2 penguins.

Lastly we have "The Invention of Lying" starring Ricky Gervais and Jennifer Garner. This movies alternate title is "The Invention of Being Sacrilegious". In a world where everyone only tells the truth Ricky figures out how to lie. It is funny in the first half. But when he tells his dying mother a lie to comfort her and the hospital staff overhear it things go from funny to insulting. He makes up a lot of things to explain his lies, going so far as to write them on 2 pizza boxes. I recommend for the sake of your mind and conscience leave this one alone. I give the first half 3 penguins and the second half 1 penguin so it gets an overall 2 penguin average.

Super Bowl Comercials 2010 Edition

Well the Super Bowl is over and congratulations to the New Orleans Saints. I guess they will be done celebrating around July 4th and cleaned up in time for Christmas.

The Super Bowl commercials did not disapoint and here are my top 10 favorites.

10. The Doritos at the funeral
9. Bud Light astronomers
8. Budweiser human bridge
7. VW punchbuggy game
6. Bridgestone killer whale
5. Snickers with Betty White and Abe Vigoda
4. NCIS head-slap montage
3. Emerald/Pop Secret awesome + awesome = AWESOMER
2 E trade milkaholic

And the number one commercial goes to

1. Doritos dog shock collar!

Honorable mention to the "Bud Light house", "Bud Light "Lost" spoof", "Leno/Oprah/Letterman", "E trade on a plane", "Google life", "Bridgestone your tires or your wife" and "Coca-Cola and the Simpsons".

Of course they weren't all good. Those Denny's commercials were annoying. Charles Barkley Taco Bell and Brett Favre Hyundai were just dumb. And Career Builder casual Fridays and Dockers without pants were just disturbing.

Woody's Movie Review 38

Here we go with a new batch of movies from the big and small screen.

First we have "Skinwalkers". This is a werewolf movie that takes place in the modern era. It seems a young boy has the power to turn werewolves back into humans permanently. Well that doesn't sit well with the blood thirsty crowd and they try to kill him ASAP. On his side though is a group of werewolves who are tired of buying so many razors. Massive fights ensue and lots of people and werewolves buy the farm. 3 penguins.

Next we have "District 9". District 9 is a movie about aliens settling in South Africa. Most don't want them there so they are going to be evicted and sent to District 10. Tragedy strikes during the evictions and the movie gets weirder from there. 2 penguins.

Then there was "A Perfect Getaway starring Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich. These two play a couple on their honeymoon in Hawaii. Too bad they picked the week when there are 2 serial killers taking out newlyweds. It twists and turns and is really good. Although the one line in the movie did make me chuckle. One character says something like "Don't worry nothing bad ever happens in Hawaii. Did they forget a little thing like Pearl Harbor!!! The movie gets 4 penguins.

Finally is "UP" the animated tale of a a man flying his house to South America. The movie starts out sad but does get better. The squirrel joke is fantastic. 5 penguins.

Final YPEL Report

Well the season is over. It was filled with highs and lows and of course creamy middles.

Since we have been experiencing computer problems here at the YPEL a quick update.

As we know Sweet Chlorine, the Mama Pigs and GTT all have forfeited their final picks.

In the last 2 weeks of the playoffs:

The Ambush went 3-1 & 2-0;
All Ahead Full went 3-1 & 2-0;
And the Highlanders went 2-2 & 0-2.

So with much fan fare here are the final results (ohhh I'm all goose-pimply).

In 6th place was the Golden Trailer Trash with 115-151;
In 5th place was the Mama Pigs at 138-128;
In 4th place was Sweet Chlorine at 164-102;
In 2nd place (tie) was All Ahead Full at 176-90;
In 2nd place (tie) was the Highlanders at 176-90;
And...(insert trumpet sound and confetti dropping here)
In 1st place was the Ambush at 181-85!

Congratulations to all the teams and a well deserved rest.

It should be noted that three teams set season highs for wins the Ambush at 181 (+9), the Highlanders at 176 (+5) and Sweet Chlorine at 164 (+6).

Wildcard Week Of The YPEL

Well it has all come down to this. Seventeen weeks of prognosticating and here we are. Now it will be noted that Sweet Chlorine, Mama Pigs and Golden Trailer Trash have all taken the cowards way out. Oh I have nothing to play for so I'm not participating. Let's just say there are fines, sanctions, penalties, wet willies and noogies heading their way.

As for the rest of us, this past week went something like this.

The Higlanders went 2-2, and the Ambush and All Ahead Full both went 1-3.

So the totals are:

The Ambush in first with 176-84;
The Highlanders in second at 174-86;
All Ahead Full in third with 171-89.

The PA Farm Show

Yesterday I went with a group of friends (and countless strangers) to the Farm Show. After a little misdirections we arrived at PSECU. After parking and taking a brisk walk (the brisk was for the temperature) over to the arena we stepped inside. Wow, I love going to the Farm Show. Now as is commonplace on my blog I will give you the highlights as I saw them. We started looking around and almost immediately Linda had grabbed someones udders. Luckily they were on a fake cow and they wanted you to touch them. Then Linda almost tackled a guy in a cow costume, is anyone else seeing a pattern? Our next stop was Cory's farmer photo op. Then after looking around we made it to the food court. Oh my, more on the food later. We then headed to where the animals were being kept. We saw alpacas, goats, sheep, cows, bulls, newly hatched chickens, older KFC ready chickens, roosters, ducks, dogs and one huge buffalo. No pigs though, stupid swine flu! One of the bulls we saw was gigantic. He was 7 years old, weighed around 2,000 lbs and from tip to tip of his horns was 91 inches (that's 7 ft 7 in)! We said some ohhs and ahhs and then were off. We then saw some curious sheep. I think they were curious as to why after growing a nice warm coat they would be shaved clean and then made to wear what looked like a speedo. There were many kinds from store bought to home-made. From some of big brother's hand me downs to some that were either capes or monks outfits. Well we headed on our way. The next room had all sorts of things for sale. From kitchen utensils to pig key chains that lit up and oinked, from make your own dip to dill pickle T-shirts. Later we found the butter statue and wondered if there was going to be an attempt at the world's largest slice of toast later. We also stopped at the Air National Guard stand. Why you ask? Well on their tent was in big letters 1-800-TOGOANG. Now in our group in Angela, who goes by Ang. So when you call ask for Ang I'm sure they will think it is hilarious. But remember to dial "800" not "900" because the "900" number is something completely different. Well it was getting late so we started to make our way out. We stopped in to the arena and saw Margie "I still have unread emails from 2002" Tupper. She was there with her Mom and and a friend. When she checks her e-mail she is going to feel silly. When we got back to the food court we grabbed a quick bite. Among the things we ate; the vegetable soup, the broccoli cheese soup, the chocolate milkshake, fruit smoothies, fried cheese cubes, a large hot dog thing, a tilapia sandwich and various free samples all day. But as much walking as we did I think we broke even. I did see some guy passed out on the floor and decided not to have the pork sandwich. As we left we stopped for a couple pics me on the tire of a John Deere tractor and Kim doing her best Vanna White impression. We got out and headed for home, all in all a great day.

An Ode To A Pair Of Boots

Recently I bought a new pair of boots. Normally this wouldn't be cause for celebration or a posting on my blog, however this is different. The boots I was replacing have become almost like good friends. They are comfortable and well broken in. They are weathered and tough. And I have had them since I was in high school. For those doing the math that is 19 years. I should get some freebies or something from Wolverine. I mean what a selling point. Picture the commercial. A barren wasteland is shown, then a picture of a mountain top, then a snowy tundra and finally a city street. And as this happens the voice over guy (I'm thinking James Earl Jones) says when everything else in your life crumbles and fades away, you can count on your Wolverine boots. Cut, print and send it to the commercial awards show. I like my new boots but appreciate all my old boots have done. They have seen graduations, national parks, vacations, oppressive heat, bone chilling cold, amusement parks, long drives and short walks (and vice versa). They have carried me through many states, living in 6 of them, ready at a moments notice to do their duty. Good times and bad they were always the same. I will still wear them occasionally, however the crack in the sole means no rain or snow, but if the weather is right I may still take a walk with some old friends (oh that could be another commercial).

Week Seventeen Of The YPEL

What a week in the YPEL. Last week of the regular season and things got shaken up a bit.

After the Eagles, Giants and Bengals all got embarrassed and Chicago won (seriously though it was Detroit) I calculated the scores and here are the results.

The Ambush went 13-3; The Highlanders and Sweet Chlorine matched up at 12-4; the Mama Pigs were 11-5; the GTT had 10-6 and falling from grace was All Ahead Full at 9-7.

As far as the season goes:

In first is the Ambush at 175-81,
In second is the Highlanders at 172-84,
In third is All Ahead Full at 170-86,
In fourth is Sweet Chlorine at 164-92,
In fifth is the Mama Pigs at 138-118,
In LAST is the GTT at 115-141.

Bring on the playoffs.

2009 A Year In Review

Well 2009 is gone and it is time as many do to take a reflective look back at the year that was. The year started out not surprisingly in January. Things were good but the clouds of trouble were gathering on the horizon. In February I lost my job, well I know where it is I just can't go anymore. I have been laid off before so the news wasn't so bad. The fact that I am still unemployed is definitely bad news. The hardest part for me right now is trust. Trust that things will work out for the best. Now things got better in June after my Penguins beat the Flyers, Capitals and Hurricanes to put them back in the Stanley Cup Final for the second straight year. They would again face the Red Wings and it would be a tough 7 games. In the end after a diving save the Penguins raised the cup and were the Champions of the NHL. I yelled till I was hoarse. It was awesome! In other sports news the Phillies made it back to the World Series. They fell to the Yankees (Man I hate those guys!). Penn State had another good season and won a muddy 19-17 Capital One Bowl game. The Cincinnati Bengals are headed to the playoffs after sweeping their division. They play with heavy hearts after the loss of Chris Henry. A great player getting his life on track gone to soon.

I have started helping out with 56 at LCBC. 56 is the ministry that helps 5th and 6th graders. I have been getting to know some cool 5th graders and some adult volunteers as well. Insert your own "Now you are with people your own age joke" here.

My Dad is still working for Lancaster labs and my Mom is enjoying year one of retirement. My Sister and her Husband live in Florida and are happy there with their two Boston Terriers. My Brother lives in Seattle and we pray for him daily. I myself am still living in and enjoying my house. I have found part time work at Autopart International as a delivery driver. And appreciate the extra money and getting out of the house a couple days a week.

Now of course there are things I would like to have, like an endless supply of spray cheese or maybe a pet Giraffe named Juan. But I think when you have your family, good friends, the occasional Yuengling and some wet bottom Shoe Fly Pie; well then life is pretty darn good. I would be remiss if I didn't try to make myself better this year some here are my resolutions for 2010. 1)Watch less reality TV, 2) Stop stalking Jennifer Aniston and 3) Cut down on my Lima Bean intake. These are going to be tough but after going 3 for 3 last year I think I have the motivation to succeed.

So thanks to all my family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and annoyances in my life. You know what category you belong in.

New Year's Eve 2009

After a few discussions we decided to spend New Year's Eve indoors. Avoid the crazies and the crowds and spend time with friends. We met at my friend Ang's house and prepared for the evening. I started by firing up the grill. Yes, I was out in the rain grilling chicken. And I only lost one eyebrow, and that is a win in my book. Anyway we started by playing Pictionary and discovered we are not good artists by any means. Though apparently the way you DRAW rhymes with is by saying out loud, "How do you draw rhymes with?". We then learned many new definitions by playing Balderdash though we didn't use the board. After that we watched Greg and Kylene preform an architecture demonstration. Then played how to stump your friends and influence people. Somewhere in there the new year clicked in and we toasted 2009, hoped for 2010 and felt bad for Dick Clark. Then it was time for the main event. In this corner various sheets of blank paper and several pens and in the other corner 8 tired, inebriated, non-medicated, creative friends. We were going to play Giraffes don't make good pets. To say that we all had fun is true. To say we were all confused is true. To say we warned people to go to the bathroom before we started is true, why they didn't listen I don't know. At one point we were able to see by the light of Greg's face. I was a little concerned that he may pass out. The highlight for me was when "I have a headache" became "Men pay money to see women cook". Get out your ones fellas and stuff them in her apron. Well after that we cleaned up and some drove home, some stayed over and some stumbled home (I think). Anyway thanks to everybody for being there and not getting salmonella. See you next year, wait I mean this year no...hold on. Let's see carry the three, divide by... Oh forget it I'll let you know.