Job Hunting

There is a gentleman here in Lancaster that has come up with a good way to find a job. He stands on the side of the road with a sign that reads "College Grad Looking For Employment" on one side and "Free Resume, his phone number, Please Call Me" on the back. Pretty smart. Now it has gotten him calls for interviews, so we have a success right? Wrong. After being so smart this guy is in my opinion STUPID! In the offers he got a call from a car dealership offering him a job that within 5 years he would be making as much as $100,000 with benefits. He wouldn't even go to an interview! There are people around who would do anything for 1/4 that and he won't even talk to them. He is looking for his perfect job or a job that is in that career path. How many people are out there and can't find any job. This guy makes me sick. His dream job he says is marketing assistant for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Not that I needed one but there is another reason for me to hate and root against the Steelers.

The Middle of Nowhere

Way back in 2001 my Sister and I were crossing this great country of ours taking in the sights and trying not to kill each other. We were successful, I am writing this and she lives in Florida. Anyway back to the sights. We saw many things the Grand Canyon, the Field of Dreams baseball field, the Pacific Ocean, Mellon Arena and the former Four Corners site. I say former because in case you haven't heard the government announced this week they made a little boo-boo. Their calculations were a little off, maybe they forgot to carry the 1 or maybe it was some guys first day. Whatever the reason the place where we stood thinking it is pretty cool to be in 4 states at once was apparently the place to stand in 2 states at once. Now I think that if you can prove you were there then our government should fly us out to the REAL four corners so we can take more pictures, all expenses paid of course. And let's face it, it makes a lot more sense than some of the stuff they spend our hard earned money on. Finally here is a tip from me to the government. This is my policy; if you make a mistake that no one will ever figure out don't go broadcasting it. And if some guy with too much time on his hands figures it out, just say it was like that when we moved in.

Oh Shady Maple, My Waistline Will Never Be the Same

Recently I took my first trip to Shady maple in New Holland. For those who live in Lancaster County insert "gasp" here. Anyway Monday nights are steak nights. All I can say is WOW! I had 3 steaks, 2 orders of mashed potatoes, 2 orders of corn, 2 orders of shrimp, 1 order of green beans and a couple glasses of soda. I think by this time next year I may be ready to go again.

While we were sitting there we noticed that several people looked like they ate there all the time. Then a group of 20-something girls walked in looking very skinny. My Mom commented that they must not eat here often. I said "Well they haven't gotten their food yet, they're the before picture." We all laughed a good bit at that.

We then went to the gift shop. I must say if you only go to Shady Maple for the food you're missing half the fun. Any gift shop that has letters on the columns like an amusement park parking lot is pretty big. They do have the required Lancaster County gifts, but they also have an assortment of other things too. Check it out. And if you are around column "H" that's where we last saw my Mom, so give her a lift home please.

Set Your Clocks

If you are up and about at five minutes and six seconds past 4 am on the 8th of July this year; pay attention and watch the clock. It will be 04:05:06 07/08/09. See it then as it will never happen again.

Woody's Movie Review 21

Good afternoon movie goers, it is time for another edition of Woody's Movie Reviews.

First up is the movie "12 Rounds" starring John Cena as a cop whose wife gets kidnapped after a psychopathic prisoner bent on revenge escapes. As my Dad put it "That sounds like it is right up your alley". And of course he was right 4 penguins.

I also saw "The Boys" starring no-one I know. It is about a pub owner who gets in debt and has to have his garage league hockey team win a game or its bye bye pub. It had its moments but overall 3 penguins. And as a bonus it is filmed in french and dubbed into english. Kinda like Godzilla on ice.

Also there is "Mr and Mrs Smith". Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie lead a hum-drum marriage till they discover they are both talented assassins. Then the bullets start to fly and their marriage works out. 4 penguins.

Lastly try "The Italian Job" staring Mark Wahlberg and Charlize Theron. Mark and Charlize lead a gang of thieves trying to avenge the death of a friend and get back 27 million in gold in the process. Car chases and suspense makes this one a 5 penguin pick.

Thanks Easter Bunny

Every year no matter how old I am (don't ask) my mom gathers up some goodies for an Easter basket. Usually clues are given to its location and then we search around the house for the prize. My mom takes time to setup the hunt and to fill our basket. This is always entertaining (as much for us as for her) and appreciated. So I say thanks again Mom.

Happy Easter everyone!!!

Woody's Movie Review 20

Yesterday I went to see "Fast and Furious" with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. Like the movies before it with the same name there are lots of fast cars & gun fire. It's easy to see why I give it 4 penguins it was as good as the first one but better than 2 and 3.

I also saw "Bedtime Stories" starring Adam Sandler. Sandler plays a down on his luck handyman who catches a break when the stories he tells his niece and nephew start to come true. Definitely more for the younger age group but enough laughs to keep those of all ages entertained. 3 penguins.

Now I saw two similar movies with disappointing endings. "Babylon AD" starring Vin Diesel and "Max Payne" with Mark Wahlberg. There is lots of gunfire in both of these movies. There is a weird supernatural "thing" in both of these movies. There is not much substance to either of these. And there are questionable endings in both of these. At the end of both movies I was saying "What!?" Oh well you win some you lose some. 2 penguins for each.

After that last review I am afraid. Am I losing my movie bloodlust? Do I now care whether or not the plot makes sense? Oh no will I start watching ugh...musicals? Never fear dear reader, why just this morning I put Die Hard in the machine, laid down on my couch and breathed a sigh of relief. Besides if I cared about movies making sense I wouldn't be looking forward to the new "Transformers" movie. In theaters June 26th.

Good PR

I guess every product needs public relations, or a good ad campaign. I realized this last year on a trip to D.C. when I spotted a ad while on the metro. The one I saw is the one with the blue background but they are all good. Especially when you remember what they are advertising.



To find out go to www.agrimarketing.com/show_story.php?id=51479

Once there about half way down you can click here to see the metro ads. Enjoy.

Patch Work

There are a couple things about me that you may figure out after this post...

1) I am proud of my military service.
2) I am at this moment BORED!!! This is of course because my lay-off enters week 8. AHHHHH!!!

So as I have been looking through some old memories I came upon my patch collection and thought I'd share. Hope you enjoy. I'm still trying to decide on a good way to display my collection.

New Word Alert

Tonight I have come up with 2 count em' 2 new words (even though 1 is technically a phrase).

First we have "Kleenex turn"; defined as that moment in a movie, T.V. show or everyday life when people would start the water works. Example "I was watching Old Yeller last night, boy did it take a Kleenex turn."

Second we have "Amisharazzi"; defined as anyone who sneaks around to get a picture of the Amish without them knowing. Example "I was over at Root's last week, man the Amisharazzi were everywhere."

So start using these words today and don't forget, I get the credit!

My Memoirs

I have come up with the title for my eventual memoirs.

Sometimes I've done stupid things, and sometimes I'm just around when stupid things happen.

Great huh!?

It's probably 70% - 30%.

I Guess I'm Bored Too

Was I named after anyone? No

When was the last time you cried? Oh boy, last year a close friend of our family passed away suddenly and I did cry.

Do you have kids? I am missing a couple steps before kids come along but the short answer is no.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Ha if I've ever said anything non-sarcastic I'd be surprised.

Do you still have your tonsils? As far as I know, but make a good offer and we'll talk.

Would you bungee jump? Umm, the best I could do now is maybe.

What is your favorite cereal? Though call I don't eat much cereal but if I had to say either Franken-Berry or Honey Nut Cheerios. Although I have heard they are making my childhood favorite cereal again...Quisp. Yeah!

Do you think you are strong? I think I can take care of myself, and if not well then Jeep makes a strong product.

What is your favorite ice cream? In a photo finish it is butter pecan in front of pistachio.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Sense of humor/can they handle my heavy dose of sarcasm (question 4).

What was the last thing you ate? A bag of peanut M&Ms.

What are you listening to right now? My MP3 is playing "Cable T.V. by the world famous Weird Al Yankovic. It is from the "dare to Be Stupid" CD.

Favorite smells? Ohh, burning leaves, cut grass, home made cookies baking and oranges.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I don't remember his name but I called the movie theater to see if "Knowing" was playing in one of the large theaters.

Favorite sports to watch? Football, Hockey, NASCAR no mater if it's live or on T.V., I can take baseball or basketball live but not on T.V.

Hair color? Brown with some salt thrown in for maturity.

Eye color? Hazel.

Favorite foods? Seafood, a good steak, Tastykakes and a good salty snack (peanuts, crackers, sesame sticks, etc.)

Last movie you watched? "Knowing" just today (see movie review 19).

Summer or winter? Summer (however fall if we have all 4 to choose from).

Favorite dessert? Shoofly pie or a home made goodie from my Mom's kitchen.

What book are you reading right now? I am trying to read through the entire New Testament of the Bible in a year. Also NASCAR's most wanted.

What did you watch on T.V. last night? I was watching "National Treasure on DVD and playing "Mercenaries" on my Playstation 2.

Favorite sound? Uhh, right now it would be the toaster popping up. I have been eating a lot of toast lately.

What is the farthest you have been from home? I'm not sure what is father, California or The Dominican Republic.

Where were you born? Lankenau Hospital; Philadelphia, PA.

My sister answered these questions first at straightfromcompton.blogspot.com.

Woody's Movie Review 19

I just finished watching "Knowing" with Nicolas Cage. Cage is an MIT professor who finds a paper written 50 years ago and buried in a time capsule at his son's school. He finds out the numbers have special significance and races to protect his son. It is very interesting even though I wasn't thrilled with the ending. 3 penguins.

"In the Electric Mist with the Confederate Dead" stars Tommy Lee Jones (one of my all time favorite actors) and John Goodman. Jones is a sheriff in a small Louisiana town, when a young girl is murdered. He tries to solve the case while dealing with a lot from his past. OK I give it 3 penguins.

Also "The Marksman" starring Wesley Snipes. This is a typical straight to DVD action movie. Not much on effects and footage that I have seen in other movies spliced in. It gets 2 penguins.

Lastly we have the tear jerker award. It goes to "Million Dollar Baby" starring Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank and Morgan Freeman. Swank just wants to be trained to be a boxer and after some badgering Eastwood finally agrees. It is a great underdog movie for a while and then takes the "Kleenex turn" (I am waiting for the patent on that phrase). I won't ruin it for you. I will say it was sad but I didn't cry. But don't go by me; me tear ducts were removed after a tragic paintball accident. 4 penguins.