Woody's Movie Review 7

Today I offer you the loyal reader my movie lessons I learned from last weekend.

Lesson 1: Not all shoot em' up westerns turn out good. For example "Appaloosa" starring Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen. These two are law men for hire when they arrive in Appaloosa. It was OK but really not that great 2 1/2 penguins. I was really expecting more.

Lesson 2: You don't have to see the whole movie to decide it isn't good. For example "The Caveman's Valentine". Samuel L Jackson plays a man who thinks rays from the Chrysler Building are attacking his brain. Then a man winds up dead out side the cave he lives in and he wants to find out what happened. The disc locked up about halfway through, and unless it got a whole lot better I am thankful. 1 1/2 penguins.

Lesson 3: Chevy Chase used to be funnier. For example "Three Amigos" Chevy Chase along with Steve Martin and Martin Short play the Three Amigos who are Hollywood actors mistaken for western heroes. When they fall on hard times the venture to Santa Poco to help the residents "fight" of the infamous El Guapo. 4 penguins, though I could live without the camping scene.

Lesson 4: You can see a movie really well looking through a scarf. I went to see "Defiance" 5 penguins starring Daniel Craig. It is really good; a true story of a group of Jews on the run from the Nazis and how they survive and fight back. I went to see this with a friend and she watched some of it through her scarf. I don't know if it needs to be a certain type of material to be effective, but I will try to find out and let everyone know. I recommend seeing "Defiance" with a friend this weekend.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Look Out For That Bridge!!!

Let me just say to all of those in Pennsylvania reading this blog...

WHEN IT SNOWS AND THE ROADS ICE UP SLOW DOWN!!!!!

Yeah that's a lot of exclamation points but they are necessary! (Look at that, another one.)

I was at a job site in Wyomissing on Monday and when we left to go home it was snowing. We got on 222 and made it only a mile or so before we saw our first accident. Some guy in a Jeep was trying to push a bridge out of his way. He didn't have too much luck. We got a little further and we saw an almost accident in progress. Then we were stopped by a man in a fire police vehicle. He told us there was a multiple car accident ahead and he was going to send us up the wrong way on the on ramp. The foreman asked "What if we don't make it up there?" The on ramp was kinda steep. The fire policeman didn't miss a beat and replied "Well I won't send anyone else up there then." Ah not a straight man around during a crippling snowstorm. We got up the on ramp and followed directions and in spite of that found 222 again. The paper today said there were 60 accidents on Monday in the county I think I saw most of them on my way home.

Normal travel time Wyomissing to Lancaster about 45 min, Monday's time 2 hrs 50 min.

Now let's all remember this the next time it snows. I say that probably in vain as many out there will have weather amnesia and drive way to fast and reckless for conditions. Oh well I tried.

Woody's Movie Review 6

Last night I watched "In Bruges" with Colin Farrell. Colin is trying to lay low in Belgium. That becomes harder when he discovers that Bruges is a...how did he put it? Oh yeah a excrement filled indentation in the earth. Yeah I cleaned it up a bit. It was good and had a few funny parts (but quite a bit of language) 3 penguins.

Another movie I recall is "Untraceable" starring the beautiful Diane Lane. Diane plays a cop in the cyber crimes unit. All is well till a psychopath enters into the plot. He is original in his m.o. though. He kidnaps people then puts them on the Internet, the more hits the website gets the faster his victims expire. A little graphic but still a very good suspense movie. 5 penguins.

How about "Charlie Wilson's War" starring Tom Hanks. It was really good and funny. And apparently Washington D.C. runs on alcohol, interesting. Tom plays the lead role about a Texas congressman who (in his own way) changes history forever. 5 penguins.

And to prove once again that I don't just hand out penguins like they are candy and that I have seen some real bad movies I give you "Idiocracy"; 1 penguin and I'm being generous. Luke Wilson (an army private) and Maya Rudolph (a prostitute) volunteer for a program that will freeze them now and thaw them out in the future. When they wake up society has degraded to everyone having 6th grader mentalities. It is hard to watch as they try to navigate the "future". To show how bad things are these people are so dumb they use a Gatorade like liquid to water all the crops and can't figure out why they won't grow. Luke is hailed as a genius when he suggests water instead. The movie was dumb and I felt dumber for watching it. 1/2 penguin.

YPEL Playoffs Week 1 Results

The playoffs have begun, and after one week;

Dave is at 64 %
Susan is at 63 %
Bruce is at 62 %
Kevin is at 61 %
Cassie is at 51 %
Fill is at 49 %

I'm not sure if Jimmy "The Greek" could do that well, especially since he has passed on.

Club Worship

This past Friday some friends and I met up and headed to Reading to find Club Worship. Club Worship is a Christian dance club. We followed the directions and we got to the address that was some one's house. We were thinking can this really be the place? Is it in the basement of this house. I knocked but nobody came to the door. They did however turn on the porch light. To the residents of 134 Madison Ave in Reading, PA I say "Sorry, my bad". We then got directions from a woman who said that she wasn't "religious" when asked where this place was. Apparently she wasn't knowledgeable either. We followed her directions and found a B.J.s, a skating rink and a cool looking indoor rock climbing center. We may be back there sometime. Anyway we then got directions from a cabbie. We followed his directions and when we thought we were going too far stopped at a pizza place. For those keeping track it is now bad directions 3 - Life Group 0, but with a good half-time speech we were ready to beat those bad directions. On advice from the guys at the pizza place we kept going. Note to Penn Dot; LABEL THE STREETS IN READING!!! Not just some of them ALL of them. We could have been in Philly for all I knew, you couldn't tell anything from streets with no signs. Well we got almost to the end of the street we were on and pulled over. I was ready to give up; let's run up the white flag we are down 4-0 and time is running out. But then we called a late audible. Linda called her Dad, yes her Dad and we got MORE directions. On we went and in a few miles and a few minutes we found it. A last second TD to win the game 7-4. There was much celebration...yay. So once we found it we paid our cover and went inside. What we found was very interesting to say the least. They had a good sound system(too loud for my taste but it is a dance club), a hardwood dance floor with two large pieces of linoleum on either side, a light system that included some lasers and a small snack bar. When we got there at 8:30 we were the only 6 people in there. The club is open from 8 to 12. Now let me say it is a very good idea and it is done well. All the staff are very enthused about working there. However it is a place for the younger crowd, and not for 6 30-somethings. I mean if some youth pastors from different churches could get together and take a bunch of senior highers up there I think they would have a great time. We had a great time just observing the goings-on at the club. Well after a half hour or so and still only 6 people inside, we decided it was time to go. We loaded up and went to "The Works" for some food (no fresh lasagna though) a few drinks and a lot of laughs. That's what is so great about our group. No matter what the situation or activity we usually end up having a good time. So thanks to all the Christian Clubbers; Kim, Linda, Margie, Ang and Cory (oh and Linda's dad).

Fun Photos

My sister and I would probably say; "Why NOT use wood?"
Wow, hockey's highest prize Lord Stanley's Cup and me. Notice I am not touching it.
Looks like someone forgot to check the font size.
This is my sister, myself (in the middle) and my brother in law after a Penguins Hurricanes game in Raleigh. Pens win 4-3. This was the year the Canes won the Stanley Cup.
This is myself, my sister and my dad at a Hershey Bears game. That's me on the left.
I guess even crap needs a p.r. person. It is fitting that I took this picture on the metro in Washington D.C.
This was taken at the B&B in Asheville, NC where my sister got married. I wonder if any couple has actually used them together. Closeness is one thing but...

Sobering photos

Arlington 2007 after all the wreaths have been placed.
I wear a POW/MIA bracelet. I have had it on pretty much 24/7 since my parents bought it for me after my graduation from USAF Basic training in 1991. Larry W Maysey; Some gave all.
This is the headstone where I placed my first wreath at Arlington in 2008.

This is the headstone where I placed my first wreath at Arlington in 2007.

Professor Wood's Literary Corner

Welcome class please take you seats and spit out that gum. Let's get started.

I have read and recommend you read the following titles. How these fell off the Pulitzer list I don't know.

We'll start light,

• Any Sherman's Lagoon
  
• Any Calvin and Hobbes
• Any Mutts
• The Evolution of Hockey by Dave Elston
  

Now that the comics are done here are some with surprisingly few pictures

• The Big Show by Dan Patrick and Keith Olberman; an inside look into the time when they were partners doing Sportscenter on ESPN.
  
• ESPN The Uncensored History by Michael Freeman; from the early days on the station it reveals a lot about how they got started and how they at times barely kept it together.
  
• Joe Paterno the Coach from Byzantium by George Paterno
• Penn State Sports Stories and More by Mickey Berstein and Joe Paterno
  
• In the Bin by Lloyd Freeberg; stories about the various NHL penalty boxes and the characters that spent time there.
  
• Slap Shots by Kevin Nelson
• Saved by Jack Falla; GREAT! is how I would describe it. A fictional story about a goalie playing a season for the Boston Bruins. Fantastic.
  
• Yankees Suck! by Jim Gerard; what else needs to be said, this book gives any Yankee Hater (I have the hat) ammunition to take down any yankees fan.
  
• Hockey's Most Wanted by Floyd Conner
• Return with Honor by Scott O'Grady
• Dam Break in Georgia
• Last of the Breed by Louis La'mour; one of the first "real books" that I read, incredible story of an aviator who is shot down, imprisoned and then escapes his captors.
  
• All Dave Barry compilation books
• Big Trouble by Dave Barry; if you have seen the movie then try the book it is much better.
  
• Tricky Business by Dave Barry; waiting for the movie from this book.
  
• Rick and Bubba Expert Guide...; this book got me through jury duty, thanks Rick and Bubba.
  
• Seinlanguage by Jerry Seinfeld
• Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen
• Top Ten by Ryne Douglas Pearson; Wow! A serial killer feeling slighted by his place on the top ten list decides to do the logical thing, take out everybody ahead of him in line and get to number 1. Very good.
  
• The Price of Honor by David Hackworth
• Save Me From Myself by Brian Welch; the rise of the band Korn and the salvation story of Brian Welch.
  

Well that's it class, so I say to you; while it is cold out side grab a blanket a beverage and a book (one of these of course, there will be a test later).

Class dismissed.

Woody's Movie Review 5

Our first movie is "In the Valley of Elah" starring Tommy Lee Jones and Susan Sarandon. This couple's son goes missing shortly after returning from Iraq. Tommy Lee gets worried and goes looking for him. What he finds isn't good and then he uses his skills to find out what happened. As he proceeds he is stonewalled and lied to but Tommy Lee won't give up on his son or the truth. 5 penguins.

I saw "Surf's Up" with Shia LaBeouf a while ago but it was good. A surfing movie starring penguins gets 4 of them. Funny lines especially from the chicken.

Speaking of Shia LaBeouf if you haven't already; go recapture a little of your youth and see "Transformers". I give this special effects dominated film 5 penguins. And a little extra for taking me back to watching the cartoon series on TV.

Lastly I leave you with a double warning. Resist the urge to ever see "Eye of the Beholder" starring Ashley Judd or "Mulholland Drive" (thanks Christine) starring Naomi Watts. They rate a COMBINED 3/4 penguin. The first contains the spirit of a dead girl and the second has miniature people living in a box. I like my movies to be clear about what is going on. For example; there is a good guy, then they bad guy(s) kidnap someone who is close to him, then the good guy expending around 3,000,000 rounds of ammunition tracks the bad guys to their hideout, frees the hostage and kills the bad guys with a big explosion and a trademarked catchphrase. Simple, easy and a sure-fire hit. But these two bombs had none of that. When they were over I was more confused then before. Now if anyone has seen these films and understood them and would like to try to explain them to me, great; otherwise LEAVE THESE TWO ON THE SHELF!

Math Time

In the movie "The Happening" John Leguizamo's character tries to distract a young girl from seeing what is outside their vehicle by asking her a question. How much money would you have if I gave you a penny today, two pennies tomorrow, 4 pennies the next day and kept doubling it for 30 days? The girl made some guesses but she was a little distracted to make a real guess. I was curious what the real answer would be; it is $10,586,418.23. Wow! Now all I have to do is get someone to agree to pay me. It's just pennies, I would say.

Also, this weekend I heard someone say they have 2,100 songs from itunes and can't believe the amount of songs they have listened to less than 10 times. Well again I did some figuring. If you just listened for 8 hrs at work; 2,100 songs (average 3 min.) would take you through 13 days 1 hour. Now let's say that all you do is listen to music. You are independently wealthy and have decided to fast. All you need is 4 days 9 hours. No wonder you have only listened to some less than 10 times. I have about 634 in my MP3 and that gets me through my 40 hour week with some repeated songs. But 2,100, the more choices you have the less you can find to listen to. I guess Springsteen was right "57 channels and nothin' on".

My Revenge Vehicle Is My Playstation2

After my beloved Lions lost in the Rose Bowl to USC I decided to take out some virtual revenge on those stupid logos from a condom packet. Plying just 5 min per quarter I decimated those California boys to the tune of 161-7. And in case you're wondering, Yes I do feel a little better thank you.

Ode To A Five Day Work Week

Well here I am getting ready to go back to work. In the past seven weeks I have had through holidays or vacation 4 four-day weekends (and consequently 4 three-day work weeks). So I bring to you "Ode to a Five Day Work Week" copyright 2009.

Alarm clock # 1 goes off
I turn it off
Alarm clock # 2 goes off
I turn it off
Alarm clock # 3 goes off
I turn it off
Alarm clock # 4 goes off
I turn it off
I get up
Where are my Under-Armors?
Turn on ESPN News
All out of strawberry Pop-Tarts
Cinnamon will have to do
Drive to the job
Cold weather and no heat
Do we have all the fittings?
Break time
Back to work
Can I use that drill
Oh no the GFI tripped
I hope there is TP in the Porta John
Whew!
Lunch
Wait we need to change what we did
I hate when they make changes w/o telling us
Up on the lift
Oh drywall dust in my eye
Thank goodness my safety glasses are in my toolbox
They won't get damaged that way
Time to wrap it up
Drive home
Hot shower and hot meal
4 MORE DAYS TO GO
Did anyone check the lottery numbers today?

Kevin Wood

Woody's Movie Review 4

Well this morning I watched "The Happening" it comes in with a 3 1/2 penguins. It stars Mark Wahlberg as a science teacher in Philadelphia when catastrophe strikes the US. Is it a terrorist attack? Is it nuclear radiation from Three Mile Island? Is it the bogeyman? Only time (91 min) will tell. I am not sure if I liked it or not hence the rating but I am right on the fence. There was an interesting quote in one scene on a blackboard. I'm paraphrasing here; If the bees died off that humans would die off 4 years later, I forget who they said that was from. Makes you think twice before spraying one of those flying hypodermics though.

Another good one is "Breathing Room" 4 penguins; staring Alisa Marshall. It is kinda like the movie "Cube" (also 4 penguins). Anyway this girl shows up in this room with a group of strangers. They all have tiny clues. Such as don't trust the guy with the toupee (although that's probably good advise for us all). Any way one of them is a killer and they have to figure it out. But as the bodies start to drop the tension and paranoia rise. And then...no I won't ruin it for you.

If you have ever seen one of those old public safety videos then you will come close to wetting yourself watching "Military Intelligence and You!" 5 penguins without a doubt. Patrick Muldoon heads the cast trying to complete a mission successfully. It is laugh out loud funny especially for those of us who have had the opportunity to serve Uncle Sam.

In the same are of military comedies is "Pentagon Wars" 5 penguins. It stars Kelsey Grammer, Cary Elwes, John C. McGinley and Tom Wright. The thing that makes this movie completely hilarious to me is that it is based on a TRUE story. Go watch it and remember TRUE story. Don't forget to watch through the notes at the end of the movie. Our government in action.

Woody's Movie Review 3

Well I just saw "Eagle Eye" starring Shia LeBeouf and Michelle Monaghan. It was good and I give it 4 penguins. Shia gets framed and then he and Michelle are on the run for about an hour and a half. I would like to say that if what happens in this movie is remotely possible I may just curl up in the fetal position for a while.

Also "How to Rob a Bank" with Nick Stahl and Erika Christensen gets a good 4 penguins. Nick ends up trapped in a bank vault with Erika while there are people trying to rob the bank. It is action and comedy. Very good.

I know it is after Christmas but if you have never seen "Trapped in Paradise" go rent it this weekend. Believe me you will thank me. It stars Nicholas Cage, Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey as three brothers (a thief, a compulsive liar and a kleptomaniac respectively) who try to rob a bank in the small town of Paradise, Pa. Let's just say things go very very wrong. Easily 5 penguins!

In the don't see it even if it is free department we have "War, Inc" starring John Cusack. An assassin trying to pull of a job in the middle east. It is horrible and as a bonus stars Hilary "somebody get her some acting lessons" Duff. All I can say is 1/2 penguin UGH!

New Year's Eve

I spent this new year's eve in the safe confines of my house in Lancaster. I invited some friends over and we ate, played games and laughed in the new year. We had thought about going to the square in town but with temps getting up to ZERO, we changed our plans. Thanks to Ang, Cory, Kim, Tracy and Greg. Lots of fun, and its hard to feel silly with an orange head band on when everyone looks the same way. Hopefully more game nights will follow. Especially since winter looks like it may stay around for a while.

Happy New Year

Well I made it. Another year gone and here I am. Let me reflect a moment on the year that was 2008. My beloved Penguins made it to the Stanley Cup Final going through the Senators, NY Rangers and Flyers. Once there they were beaten by the Detroit Red Wings in 6 games. I was absolutely disappointed and immediately shaved off my playoff beard. However I am hopeful for the future. Things have been lacking hockey-wise in Pittsburgh for a while but things have been great the last few years, and with the new arena coming the future looks bright. My Nittany Lions came within a last second field goal in Iowa of being undefeated. And they had a fantastic season. It was really in 2009 so I don't know if the Rose Bowl game counts. That was tough to watch. Too many mental errors and too long to get going. Oh well it is only 9 months to go for more PSU football. Speaking of tough to watch how bout' those Bengals. Three straight wins at the end of the season couldn't make up for a 1-11-1 record before that. Who ties in the NFL? What is more pathetic, the Bengals record up to that point or that the Eagles (who are a playoff team) couldn't manage to beat them in 75 minutes of football? I did get to see one of their games live. I went to Pittsburgh courtesy of my friend Christine. I have never been so cold on purpose before. It is a shame the Bengals couldn't win, although they were ahead 7-0 for a little while. I would be remis if I did not mention the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies. Now I don't watch baseball much and even less if it is on TV. However if I had to choose a team that's who I would choose. I just know that as the players were rushing the field after the last out somewhere my Grandpa was smiling. As for NASCAR the third time was the charm for Jimmy Johnson winning his third straight Winston/Nextel/Sprint Cup Title. I think it was inevitable but if I intend to keep watching NASCAR I need another (I will ALWAYS root for Kyle Petty) driver. Hey if NASCAR can have 2 car teams, then so can I. I haven't decided but I am leaning towards Carl Edwards. Attention Carl Edwards if things go as they have in the past with my drivers, you may have just won your last race. As for the movies of 2008, I have seen some great ones; No Country for Old Men, Cloverfield, 88 Minutes, Fool's Gold, Indiana Jones, Iron Man, Righteous Kill, Traitor, Untraceable and Vantage Point. But the winner for best movie of 2008 is by far The Dark Knight, all I can say is WOW!!! Now I have seen some stinkers too; The Love Guru and Speed Racer. There are probably more but I have apparently blocked them out of my memory, thank goodness. Music was pretty good this year too. AC/DC's Black Ice, The Lost Trailers' Holler Back, The New Three Doors Down CD, Montgomery Gentry's Back When I Knew it All and even Sugarland's Love on the Inside. I also am settling in at LCBC. Helping in this process are a great group of people I would call my Life Group but it would be more appropriate to call them my friends. Thanks to Cory, Ang, Konrad, Kim, Linda and Margie you have made this year fun. As far as my immediate family is concerned. My Dad is working at Lancaster Labs, he is on the road but seems to enjoy it judging by the interesting stories he comes back with. He is also the Secretary and Newsletter Editor for the Reading chapter of the Sub Vets and I know he enjoys that. My Mom finished out 2008 by retiring. My Mom has been a Nurse since as far back as I can remember. She worked nights but always was there for us kids and we had dinner together pretty much every night. Thanks for always being there for us Mom, and sorry about all the noise when you were trying to sleep. As for my big brother David, I am not sure where he is. I can only hope he is healthy and doing well. And then there is my sister Susan and my other brother(in-law) Dave. They have taken up residence in the Tampa area of Fl. Dave does work that I don't know if he can tell me about and I'm not sure I would understand if he did. But what he does do is take good care of my little sister. Speaking of Susan she is working for a agency that helps people find temp jobs. That is great considering her VAST knowledge on that subject. They also seem to get a new dog every other month. If I wait long enough they will film the movie 103 Bostons. My sister is also trying to be a meteorologist; as she reminds us that it is 70 down there while the wind chill in Pa keeps it a balmy 0. As for me I continue to work for Protech Mechanical as a plumber. I have had some bad days, but overall I really do enjoy my job most days. I have my own house, some neat toys and good friends. Throw in a good sporting event on TV with a cold beer to wash it down and I am pretty content. There are some things that I would like but don't yet have, like a rocket powered orange ambulance (an old style 70s version) but maybe this year. I usually don't make resolutions but for this year I resolve to eat less onions, watch less Oprah and cut back on the jogging. Three resolutions that I think are locks for me to achieve. Well I can't say it has been all good. This year we lost someone very close to my family and I. My Aunt Linda passed away this year and will be missed a great deal. But I can picture her in heaven knitting a Christmas stockings for her new friends in Heaven.

Well I hope you have enjoyed my take on 2008, if not well I'll try again after 2009.