That's right its Lager Talk. See if I want a talk show I have to use the Internet. Because if you want to be on radio or TV apparently you need a degree. Like I need a freakin' communications degree to communicate! I've been communicating since I was 1 1/2 and I didn't need to go to college to do it! But that's another topic for another day.
When I was asked to do this, it was suggested as a coffee talk show. Well for my first episode I'll discuss a little thing called coffee. First of all there are only 3 things that belong in coffee: sugar, milk and a spoon. You take your flavored creamers, your Splenda, your sweet and low, and any dang whipped cream and throw em' out. This is America and you have the right to choose. However it is apparent that some of you chose poorly. Mr half-caff, double foam, extra cinnamon, Egyptian blend with Swiss skim milk and a scone on the side. I wonder if Starbucks is adding estrogen to make you order that way. Man Up! Coffee should take only two syllables to order. Something like this:
Waitress - "Can I get you something to drink?"
Customer - "Yeah, how bout' a Yuengling on tap."
Waitress - "Sir, it's 7:30 in the morning."
Customer - "Fine just a coffee then."
See just that simple. If all goes according to plan Starbucks will file bankruptcy by the end of the week. I will then buy all their stores at a discount price and open a chain of...you guessed it Lager Houses. And when they come in crying for their Starbucks we smack em' and give em' a lager on the house. Cause once they're hooked I'll be rich.
That's all for Lager Talk, our topic for next time "You better use your turn signal cause my car's paid for and I have great insurance."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment